As parents, we often feel like we’re constantly saying “No,” “Stop that,” or “Don’t do that!” But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead of giving energy to negative behaviors, we focused more on the good ones?
Ignoring bad behavior doesn’t mean ignoring your child—it means choosing what deserves your attention. Kids crave our reactions, whether positive or negative. If they get a big response from whining, throwing a tantrum, or acting out, they learn that this is an effective way to get attention. But when we don’t engage with the behavior, it loses its power.
How to Ignore Bad Behavior the Right Way
Stay calm and neutral—no eye rolls, sighs, or lectures.
Avoid giving attention to whining, minor tantrums, or attention-seeking misbehavior.
Once the behavior stops, immediately acknowledge your child with warmth and connection.
Shift Focus to the Good
Praise good behavior often and enthusiastically: “I love how you’re using your inside voice!”
Give attention to kindness, patience, and effort: “That was such a great way to share!”
Model the behaviors you want to see—kids learn by watching us.
When we give more attention to the behaviors we want to see, we naturally encourage them to happen more often. And when we disengage from the behaviors we don’t want, kids realize those actions don’t get the reaction they hoped for.
It’s not about ignoring the child—it’s about helping them grow into their best selves through positive reinforcement. Because what we focus on, grows. 
